They wander about,
young people,
intellectuals.
 
Walking down streets
with their heads
umbrellaing iPhones and
pumpkin spice lattes.
 
Making up words,
yelling “Yassssss”
from the tip-tops
of their lungs.
 
The same
artists and educators
who scored above average
on their SAT’s.
 
They
fold themselves
into corners
of side streets.
Noses to desktops.
Whiskey to their
whistles.
 
They find the things that
Keep them motivated.
Their fire-starters.
Passion sparkers.
 
And they leave
their mark.
Fresh.
Raw.
 
Permanent
and unforgiving
on the universe
around
them.

Tonight I sought a dearest friend,
To guide my broken heart to mend.
She asked what caused in me such strife
I told her t’was my shadow life.
 
She recognized in me the things
That haunt her nightly in her dreams.
The decisions that she didn’t make.
All the roads we didn’t take.
 
The good, the bad, the who’d have known.
That shaped the women never grown.
I’ve often wondered who I’d have been
If ever a decision was changed back then.
 
Had I have signed that long contract
That led me into ground combat.
Stayed the times I chose to leave,
Or transferred schools before year three.
 
If I’d have walked away that night
Instead of choosing to stay and fight.
Let things go before he left home.
Not lost those years while he was gone.  
 
My friend looked deep into my misty eyes
And said sincerely, to my surprise,
It doesn’t matter the history you’re from,
I like the person who you’ve become.
 
For a moment - then - I opened up.
I let her inside and that was enough.
No shadow life could quite compare,
To the fascinating one I’m living here.

You said you hated California
Waves were always crashing down.
How would one ever expect to
Pick two lives up off the ground?
 
If the one thing that they want
Is always a tad bit out of reach.
You’re a lonely soul with a broken heart
Clinging to  your silent reverie. 

I wonder if she’s in there still
Where else would she go?
The miles that lie between us
Are the only truths we’ve told.
 
How is something so familiar
The only thing you’ve never seen?
It makes all the difference in the world  -
Now one plus two make three.
 
How much time do we really have
Before they leave us six below?
How much are we willing to give up
Before we lose all control?
 
You said you’d love me regardless.
Then it finally occurred to me
That word meant heedless,
To treat carelessly.

If the only thing between us
Are a few old memories,
Then why after all this time
Do you have so much control over me?
 
How do I pretend the distance
Doesn’t change a thing?
When a life is laying on the line,
Would you still fight for you and me?

The day will still be long if you laugh or if you cry.
Whether you wake up or not, the sun will always rise.
History is being made whether or not you choose sides.
So love yourself and be the change you want to see.
 
They’ll tell you all the things they think you want to hear.
Dig through your darkest secrets and exploit your every fear.
Put you through far more than you should face in so few years.
So love yourself and be the change you want to see.
 
There’s still so far to go to achieve true equality.
And far too many people are sleeping on our streets.
A mother lost her child today. Another gone if you count to three.
So love yourself and be the change you want to see.
 
You should know it really wasn’t your fault that he hit you.
The truth always has been something easily misconstrued.
Life will never show mercy because of what you’re going through.
So love yourself and be the change you want to see.
 
In some places women still belong to someone else.
There are countries full of children starving literally to death.
They’re the reason why you can never give up on yourself.
So love yourself and be the change you want to see.
 
The only reason that you need is because you’re worth it all.
Every part of you is beautiful, from your body to your soul.
Discover the things in life that make your heart feel whole.
Love yourself and be the change you want to see. 

​I:
Fuck,
I love my life.
 
And I love saying fuck.
I know it isn’t ladylike.
 
I know that there is a fine line
between edgy and inappropriate
 
But it feels good.
Feels free.
 
II:
Today I restocked my growing
shelf of crystals and candles.
 
They told me to be intentional
so I threw out all your things.
 
That old photograph of us..
Your favorite sweater.
 
I don’t need keepsakes to remind me
That you will never change.
 
III:
I saw the blood moon.
Giant. Mesmerizing.
 
It reminded me this city is big
and I am small.
 
A coffee shop can be found
on every corner.
 
I always suspected
That’s where she’d find me. 

You.
Fuck you.
I mean, love you.
Need you.
Miss you.
 
Whoever said
that leaving
left only a hole
is a liar.
 
You weren’t
a ball of now
wrapped up
in a corner
of my heart.
 
No.
You were forever,
sewn into the
very lining.
 
Part of you
was what kept me
together.
Kept me sane.
Kept me strong.
 
Loving you
made me feel
invincible.
Like I could
leap from the
tops of fucking
mountains.
 
And when you left.
You didn’t leave
just a hole.
You ripped me
open at the
seams.
 
Thread still intact
so you could
weave yourself
into another.